Brian was pulled over for speeding, and as the cop approached his car, he noticed lighter fluid, matches, and torches, all in the passenger seat right next to him. “Sir,” said the cop, motioning to the paraphernalia.  “Can I ask why you have that stuff in the car? ” “Well officer,” said Brian, “it’s quite simple, I’m a juggler in a circus and this is my equipment!”

The cop, clearly not believing him, insisted that he come over to the side of the road and juggle the torches so he can see if his story was indeed true.

Just then an elderly couple cruised by and the old man turned to his wife, “Suzie, am I glad I finally  gave up drinking!  Can you believe the drinking test they are giving now?!”